Throwing the Perfect Barbeque
Experts in the field of Barbeque-ology agree that this is THE yardstick by which all other BBQ-related articles will be measured. The Pulitzer is ours. If you’ve gone outside lately, you know that the outdoor cooking season is upon us, so we’ll spare you the weather reports and cut to the chase: With a little planning and even less effort, you can turn what would have been a really okay barbecue into something that your guests will brag about attending. Even if you don’t adhere to all our advice, you’ll be ahead of the game if you just take some of it. For advice, we consulted with seasoned event planner Scott Benassi to get some pointers in refined barbecuing.
[ P R E P A R A T I O N ]
IT ALL STARTS HERE
The first thing to consider is leadership. Perhaps it’s an unspoken thing, but someone needs to call the shots. Otherwise, the logistics could be all wrong. “It all comes down to timing,” says Benassi. “Call it ‘grill management,’ if you will. Map the day out, workshop it with your family or team members prior to the event. Assign a team leader to delegate the appropriate roles. Who will tend to the grill? Who will marinate, chop vegetables, etc.? Regardless of the party size, consider all tasks. Skip this step and the next thing you know, all the food is hot and ready to eat, but it’s 4:30 and your guests don’t arrive until 6pm.”
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[ F O O D ]
BBQ MUST-HAVES
Six easy recipes that’ll make you look like a BBQ genius
Fresh Salsa
You’ll need: 10 hot house tomatoes, 5 jalapenos, 2 Anaheim peppers, 5 Serrano chili peppers, 1 bunch cilantro, 1 bunch green onions, 4 cloves garlic, 3 juicy limes, 1 tsp. cumin, 1 tbsp. salt, 2 tbsp. pepper
To make: Chop and seed tomatoes. Discard seeds; place tomatoes in large bowl and set aside. Chop green onions. Add to bowl. Seed jalapenos, Anaheim peppers and chili peppers and chop and place in food processor. Peel garlic cloves and remove stems from cilantro. Place in food processor with peppers. Pulse until ground into tiny chunks. Mix pepper, cilantro and garlic mixture with tomatoes. Add cumin, salt and pepper. Squeeze the juice of three limes into mixture, and stir thoroughly. Add more salt and pepper to taste. Serve with tortilla chips.
Hints: If you don’t have a food processor and must chop by hand, be sure to wear gloves. Your hands will stink and sting for days if you don’t. Also, don’t touch your face when working with peppers (or anything else, for that matter) until after washing hands.
Fruit Salad
You’ll need: Watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, strawberries, seedless grapes, pears, Fuji apples, mango, pineapple, juice oranges
To make: Remove seeds from fruit and discard. Remove peel from the watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, mango and pineapple (to cut pineapple, twist top off and cut into vertical quarters. Then remove peel with a long, curved knife). Cut fruit into small squares. Toss in large bowl. Add in any more of your favorite non-mushy fruits (bananas usually don’t work with fruit salad). Squeeze the juice of two or three juice oranges over the mixture. Orange juice adds flavor and keeps fruit from browning.
Layered JELL-O ®
You’ll need: Two to three different JELL-O flavors (preferably three different colors), 1 box Knox Gelatin mix, 1 can condensed milk, pan, water
To make: For colored layers: Mix one envelope Knox Gelatine with ¼ cup cold water. Mix together one cup boiling water with one box JELL-O. Pour into pan and refrigerate 20 minutes. For white layers (filling): Mix two envelopes Knox Gelatin with a ½ cup cold water. Add 1 cup boiling water to condensed milk. Stir Knox mix with milk and add one more cup boiling water. This mixture should be enough to last for the entire operation. Pour what’s needed on top of set JELL-O and refrigerate 20 minutes. Set milk mixture aside. Rotate between colors and white filling evenly until desired height. Cut into finger size squares.
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GRILLED VEGETARIAN OPTIONS:
Veggie Shish-Ka-Bobs
You’ll need: Shish-ka-bob skewers, broccoli, bell peppers of all colors, onions, zucchinis, yellow squash, mushrooms, carrots, cherry tomatoes
To make: Chop the veggies thick so they don’t fall off skewers. Thread the veggies, placing at least one of each vegetable on each skewer. Make sure your grill is somewhere between 500 and 700 degrees. Place shish-ka-bobs on the grill. Turn several times for even cooking, and leave on for about 10 – 12 minutes. Brush marinade on shish-ka-bobs while turning, or just season with salt, pepper, lemon juice and garlic for an easier task. Serve alone or with rice.
Grilled Portabella Mushrooms, Eggplant and Tomatoes
You’ll need: 4 Portabella mushrooms, 4 eggplant, 4 Roma tomatoes, 1/3 cup olive oil, handful fresh basil, 2 cloves garlic, salt, pepper
To make: Mince garlic, tear basil, and add to olive oil. Slice eggplants lengthwise, slice Roma tomatoes in half and remove stems from mushrooms. Dip mushroom caps, eggplant and Roma tomatoes in olive oil mixture, and sprinkle salt and pepper. Grill on rack for about five minutes, or until soft, while brushing more of the olive oil mixture to taste.
Grilled Asparagus
You’ll need: Bunches of asparagus, olive oil, salt, pepper
To make: Brush olive oil on asparagus. Sprinkle salt and pepper. Grill for about 15 minutes, rotating occasionally.
HOW TO GRILL THE PERFECT STEAK… EVERY TIME
When it comes to grilling, you have options. But it’s the classic steak that people screw up most.
Here’s how most people grill a steak: Throw it on the grill, begin worrying about how long to cook it, flip it 20-30 times, worry that it’s overcooked, remove from heat, cut open the steak, realize it’s too rare, throw back on the grill, overcook the opened steak until it has the texture of boot leather.
Here’s how to grill a perfect steak, just like they do in the restaurants, every time you grill:
1) HOT GRILL Get your grill up to 700 degrees. Hold out your flat hand about six inches over the coals or flame. If you can count to three before pulling away your hand, your grill is about 350 degrees, where most people make their first mistake. You should be able to just barely finish pronouncing, “One,” before snatching your hand away. That’s 700 degrees.
2) WARM MEAT Do not take your steak from the fridge to the grill. Your goal is to cook it fast. Let the wrapped meat adjust to room temperature while your grill is heating up. As long as it’s sealed, and not left on the counter for more than a few hours, you’ll have no bacteria problems.
3) THROW IT DOWN If your barbecue has been properly heated, that steak is going to stick to your grill as soon as you lay it down. The extreme heat will also immediately sear the beef, keeping in the juices. If it didn’t stick, it wasn’t hot enough and you might as well grind it into hamburger.
4) LEAVE IT ALONE Do not flip that steak. Ignore your steak until it lets go of the grill all by itself. This will only take a few minutes, depending on thickness. Stop your usual worry – it will let go.
5) ONE FLIP ONLY Once your meat is loose, flip it once, listen to it re-sear and re-seize the grate. Do not touch the meat until it (rather quickly) lets go of the grill a second time. The only question remaining is: “How do you want your steak?”
6) TEST FOR DONE-NESS Using your index finger, press into the middle of the steak. Soft is very rare. Barely discernable resistance is rare. Definite resistance is medium rare. Firming up is medium. The difference between rare and medium is about two minutes, so pay attention. For well done, just cook that sucker until it’s black.
7) PATIENCE If you’ve followed these directions precisely, then your steak will initially not look as done as you wanted it. That’s because it’ll still be cooking for a good 7-10 minutes after it’s off the grill. Do not cut open your steak! It will appear too rare for your preference and you’ll let out the juices. Wait 10 minutes and the steak will actually cook to the desired doneness.
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[ R E F R E S H M E N T S ]
WHITE SANGRIA, BEER AND MORE
Though we’re admittedly partial to The Margarita King and Tequiza, our expert barbecue consultant disagrees. “Don’t fool around with this one. Corona, Pacifico, and a lime. Maybe a little punch for the kids; with real fruit, virgin Sangria,” says Benassi. But it’s your call. Homemade margaritas are tempting, but because of the work that’s required, eventually devolve into tequila shots. And that’s not always a bad thing. Again, your call.
White Sangria
An easy alternative – and typically a crowd pleaser – is white sangria. The below recipe serves about 10 people, or two-and-a-half super drinkers.
You’ll need: 3 bottles of white wine, 2 cups (give or take) peach schnapps, 1 half liter of Squirt™ (the secret ingredient you shamefully hide), 3 sliced oranges, 3 sliced pears, 4 sliced peaches, 3 Fiji apples seeded and sliced, 4 tbsp. sugar
To make: Mix all contents in a large container and chill in the refrigerator for at least four hours, if not overnight. Serve with ice in a large bowl. Garnish with thinly sliced Fiji apples.
Hint: You can also get creative and add your own, unique excitement. For instance, try adding Orangina instead of Squirt, brandy instead of peach schnapps, etc.
JELL-O Shots
Okay, if you want to throw a barbecue that no one will be able to forget (because they got so drunk they can’t remember a thing), then you might want to consider serving JELL-O shots.
You’ll need:
2 cups vodka, 3 packages JELL-O with sugar, 3 cups water, shot glasses and excellent HMO or PPO health care coverage.
To make: Boil three cups water and add JELL-O. Mix JELL-O and water until JELL-O is completely dissolved. Add two cups vodka and mix together. Pour mixture into shot glasses and chill until firm. Then drink and proceed to make a total ass of yourself.
Hint: Best served with Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Southern by the Grace of God.
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[ L I G H T I N G ]
DON’T BE IN THE DARK
The night before the event, turn off all the lights in the space you plan to entertain. Then place lighting in the areas where you want your guests to see (lounge areas, the buffet, the bar). You can highlight some of the landscape or architecture by simply changing out the bulbs with colored ones.
If you’re looking for a more classic barbecue vibe, then tiki torches are the way to go. Even if you’re grilling during the day, the torches add atmosphere, as well as keep the bugs away. “And don’t be afraid to pull a lamp from your living room,” says partyplanner Benassi. “Cover the shade with a colorful piece of fabric and place it next to the bar. But most important of all: Use only white light on the buffet. Blue potato salad is not a hit, anywhere.”
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