Expense Report
The costliest Bay Area home, food, education, hotel neighborhood and more are just a bank account cleaning away.
By Chris Bushnell
there is a fine line between calling something ?the most expensive? as a compliment and labeling it ?the most expensive? as an insult. At least, that?s what we found while compiling this list of the costliest items your money can buy. For example, the Fairmont is proud to call their Penthouse Suite the most expensive hotel room in the country; it adds to the luxury and prestige of the setting. But no one wants to be known as ?the world?s most expensive dry cleaner,? or the ?Bay Area?s priciest auto mechanic.? Such a label would be the kiss of death.
So it is with great care that we selected each of the following abundantly overpriced items. None of the people, places or products below will be offended by being branded as ?the most expensive.? If anything, they revel in the label; it is a fundamental part of their identity. After all, caviar without the price tag is just fish eggs, right?
TRAVEL
If you are an executive who travels frequently, then you really should try and convince your boss that flying on a chartered plane is a cost saver. We suggest you whip out colored pie charts that show how much your company will save for hotel costs for overnight trips that can be completed in a day with private flights. Or you could set up a bunch of PowerPoint slides that explain how much worker productivity increases when employees are served grilled shrimp hors d?oeuvres in a leather recliner at 30,000 feet. Sure, it?s a hard sell, but you can take solace in the fact that dozens before you have successfully used this argument to convince their bosses to switch from commercial to private air travel. So many Silicon Valley companies are making the switch to private planes that Mineta International Airport has become a construction zone, with three giant new private jet facilities currently being erected. But despite whatever real or imagined costs are saved, private flights continue to be the costliest mode of transportation. A company that plans frequent trips can buy a ?fractional ownership? (ie. a time-share) in a new Learjet through a company like San Jose?s Executive Jet Management or Silicon Valley Express. While costs will vary depending on frequency of use, number of passengers and quality of the scotch poured on board, you?ll have to convince your boss to spend several hundred thousand dollars (minimum) for a share of a plane, plus over $100,000 worth of annual maintenance, docking and personnel fees? and even then you?ll have to share your aircraft with several other corporations. Booking individual flights without staking an ownership in an aircraft are equally pricey. While a cross-country first class ticket on a major commercial airline can cost over $2,000, a private flight can start at $35,000 and quickly grow to triple that, depending on number and location of landings. And if you simply cannot be inconvenienced with things like ?sharing? or ?making reservations,? you can purchase your own plane to fly whenever you want. The popular Citation Encore runs a cool $7.8 million (not including pilot), or you can opt for the more elegant Gulfstream V, which begin at $45 million each (peanuts not included).
ATHLETES
Who is the Bay Area?s most expensive athlete? The most obvious answer is Barry Bonds; his $18,000,000 salary for 2004 is twice that of top-paid Golden State Warrior Dale Davis. But to earn his $18 mil, Bonds must play 162 three-hour-plus games. So does he really earn more than teammate Rob Nenn? After all, the Giants? closer lands a cool $9.15 million annually, but only plays certain games, and rarely appears for more than a single inning at a time. Four million per year is great money if you are a hockey player (top-paid San Jose Shark, Evgeni Nabokov pulls down just shy of that amount), but as an annual figure, his fee doesn?t even earn a Top Ten ranking among Bay Area athletes. On the other hand, if you make $2 million a year playing for the San Francisco 49ers, as top-paid Tim Rattay, Julian Peterson and Jeremy Newberry did last year, and break that down over a 16-game season, the per-minute salary trumps anything the home run king has been paid on the field. Unfortunately, the 60 official minutes in a football game can take close to three hours to complete. For the best ratio of money earned vs. time spent, you?ll be hard pressed to find a better-paid athlete than Russell A. Baze, the top-earning jockey this summer at Bay Meadows racetrack. Baze rode in 287 roughly-two-minute races between April and June of this year, winning 90 and showing in more than half, for a cool $1.3 million in purse winnings. With a pay-rate of nearly $2,300 per minute, Baze earned approximately four times what Barry Bonds earns for each 60 seconds he?s on the field.
DRINK
There is one surefire way to get completely hammered and not get kicked out of any given bar: Make sure you are drinking the most expensive libation in the house. And we?re not talking about that cheap Cristal swill. If you really want to be a high-roller, you can start with a sifter of Louis XIII cognac, a high-priced spirit that can be found in finer bars and restaurants? not for the frequent orders, but so that the cognac?s distinctive donut-hole bottle can be on display for all to see. A single shot will cost you anywhere from $100 to $185. That?s a bit pricier than the self-proclaimed ?World?s Most Expensive Cocktail,? which is available at the World Bar atop Trump Tower in New York City. This elixir contains Remy XO, Pineau des Charentes, fresh-pressed grape juice and Veuve Clicquot, with pinch of edible 23-karat liquid gold to take the edge off. At $64, however, Trump?s creation doesn?t even come close to the real world?s most expensive cocktail, the Ritz Side Car. At a cost of 400 Euros ($490), the Ritz Side Car is available only at the Bar Hemingway in Paris? Hotel Ritz. The Side Car is half-lemon juice and Cointreau, half-Ritz Fine Champagne 1865 pre-phylloxera Cognac, an over-100-year-old cognac that was nearly seized from the hotel by the Nazis during the German occupation. The hotel values each remaining bottle of Ritz Fine Champagne 1865 pre-phylloxera Cognac at $10,000 each? but they are not for sale. Expensive cognacs and scotches do sell for that sum at elite auction houses like Christie?s and Sotheby?s. Single bottles selling for $5,000 are not uncommon, and last year Glenfiddich released 61 bottles of 65-year-old single malt that sold for $14,000 a bottle. In 2002, a 60-year-old bottle of The Macallan was auctioned for ?20,150 ($36,750). And if that?s still too inexpensive for your refined taste, you may want to purchase a bottle of Chateau d?Yquem Sauternes (1787), the world?s most expensive commercially available wine. Retail price: $64,000 per bottle.
ZIP CODE
According to Forbes magazine, the most expensive zip code in California is 94010, a.k.a. Hillsborough. With a median home price of $1,850,000, the community ranks as the seventh costliest community in the country (behind Jupiter Island, FL; Aspen, CO; Sea Island, GA; Palm Beach, FL; Centre Island, NY and Mountain Village, CO). Hillsborough realtors will need to keep closing deals on the area?s top properties if they want to keep their ranking. Closing in fast behind Hillsborough on the Forbes list are Marin County?s Ross ($1.62 million per home), followed by Peninsula enclaves, Atherton ($1.29 million) and Los Altos ($1.1 million) and Los Gatos ($1.08 million).
TOILET
If you want to feel like royalty, you?re going to need an expensive throne. The Neorest by Toto (retail price: $5,200, www.totousa.com) is more than just an overpriced porcelain lavatory ? it?s the loo of the future. Never having to worry about leaving the seat up (the Neorest automatically raises and lowers its lid when it senses a visitor) is the least of the conveniences available in this top-of-the-line toilet. This john comes equipped with a heated seat, catalytic air deodorizer and a tankless, multi-valve flush system that senses exactly how much water is needed to do each job. The Neorest also comes with a wireless remote control with more functions than a TiVo. You can control front and back spray wands, which shoot pulsating water at user-controlled pressure and temperature. There?s even a built-in warm-air dryer, as well as a white-noise generator to mask sound. And, yes, before you ask, it cleans itself with soaps and sealants with the press of a button.
HOME
The most expensive home ever sold in the Bay Area had a price tag of $32 million. What do you get for that amount? Not as much as you might think. The house, er, uh, mansion (located at 2845 Broadway, shown above), sold for this record amount nearly two years ago and still does not have an occupant. That?s because the manor is still undergoing a head-to-toe makeover. With over 17,000 square feet of space to work with, it might be awhile before billionaire Peter Sperling, the reported buyer, moves in. In fact, the record for the most expensive home may be broken before Mr. Sperling puts a key into the door. Down the street at 2920 Broadway, Ingrid and Reuben Hills (heirs to the Hills Brothers coffee fortune) are trying to unload their regal estate for a neat $36 million. That?s not a bad price for an 11,500-square-foot manse that was originally listed for $45 million. Before you can commit to such a purchase, it?s nice to know who your neighbors are. 2850 Broadway is home to Oracle founder Larry Ellison. Billionaires Ann and Gordon Getty are next door at 2870 and 2880. Billionaire heir George Jewett has a place at 2990, CompareNet founder Trevor Traina lives at 2780 and Levi Strauss heir (and former company president) Peter Haas shares the house at 2800 Broadway with his family. If you?d like to move to this most-exclusive strip of Pacific Height real estate, don?t bother looking in the paper. ?Most of these homes are transferred in private transactions,? says David Barrett, owner of luxury home specialist Warwick Properties Group and the man who closed the $32 million record holder. ?The really big deals never get advertised.? So, if Barrett broke his own record and sold a house for $50 million, would he tell us? ?No chance.?
FOOD
World?s most expensive:
Burrito: $49: Burrito Elegante, Salon Mexico, New York City, www.salonmexiconyc.com
Chocolate: $90/pound: Amedei Porcelana, www.amedei.it
Hamburger: $99: Black Truffle Burger, DB Bistro Moderne, New York City, www.danielnyc.com
Breakfast: $1,000: Lobster omelet, Le Parker Meridian Hotel, New York City, www.parkermeridian.com
Salad: $1,100: The Florette Sea and Earth Salad, Le Manoir aux Quat Saisons, Oxford, www.manior.com
Caviar: $1,500/ounce: Almas Iranian White Caviar, www.caviar-house.com
Spice: $2,000/ounce: Saffron from Kashmir, Harrods, London, www.harrods.co.uk
TRAILER
When you think of a trailer, several images come to mind: Cheez Whiz, mullets, missing teeth. In other words, you don?t regularly associate an aluminum home on wheels with luxury living. Then perhaps you haven?t seen this customized Airstream at LIMN in San Francisco (www.limn.com). The furniture artists at LIMN sent this trailer to Italy, where the interior of this handmade 1950?s classic was re-done in American cherry wood. A stainless steel kitchen (with Gaggenau gas stove) and expanded restroom was added to make this portable abode suitable for Trumps and tramps alike. ?Most people think it costs around $40,000,? says LIMN owner Dan Friedlander. ?But with the Euro where it?s at, it would cost closer to $200,000.?
SCHOOL
Last year, tuition (plus student housing) at Stanford University cost in-state students a whopping $27,204. You might think that five-digit fee was the most expensive education your money can buy in the Bay Area. You?d be wrong. The Menlo School (www.menloschool.org) in Atherton, which accepts children in grades six through 12, costs a whopping $24,800 annually? and that doesn?t even cover the cost of books! For the price of a brand new BMW 325i, your child is guaranteed to be in a classroom of no more than 15 other students, where he or she will take classes like ?Chamber Orchestra,? ?Electronics & Robotics,? or ?Tune In, Turn On: The Non-Fiction and Fiction of Tom Wolfe.? If Menlo School is simply out of your budget, you may want to consider Portola Valley?s Woodside Priory School (grades six to 12, $23,830/year, www.woodsidepriory.com), Hillsborough?s Crystal Springs Uplands School (grades six to 12, $23,280/year, www.csus.com), Palo Alto?s Castilleja School (girls only, grade six to 12, $23,000/year, http://www.castilleja.org) or the bargain basement Mid-Peninsula High School in Menlo Park (grades nine to 12, a steal at $19,960/year, www.mid-pen.com).
HOTEL ROOM
When it comes to expensive hotel rooms, few in the world can compete with the penthouse suite at the Fairmont San Francisco. For a tidy $10,000 per night, guests have exclusive access to the 6,000 square-foot complex, which takes up the entire eighth floor. The room doors open to a marble foyer, topped with a Tiffany skylight. A 24-hour butler and chef are on hand to accommodate any late-night cravings, or help you entertain groups up to 50. Your guests, should you choose to allow them past hotel security, can peruse the books in the two-story, circular library (complete with gold leaf constellations etched into the ceiling), shoot snooker in the Persian-tiled billiards room, or warm up next to any of the suite?s four fireplaces. If you do invite friends up to the Penthouse, you?ll want to make sure they don?t steal any of the 24-karat fixtures that adorn the suite?s three bathrooms. After all, it wouldn?t be difficult for one of them to push aside one of the bookcases, exit via the suite?s famous secret passageway and then take off in one of the hotels Porsche 911s, which are available for free to guests of this legendary room. Past occupants have included Prince Charles, John F. Kennedy and King Hussein of Jordan, and the penthouse was used as an office to draft the United Nations? charter. Oh yeah, and they have free HBO.
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